Saturday

I haven't written anything since last night. I slept shortly after I finished writing last night. I got up around 11 pm. I felt great. Hung out for a tiny bit, then came back to bed.

I woke early this morning and felt very groggy. I guess the meds are starting to work. A good thing, I suppose.

I have been very outgoing today, showing interest in other people, and participating in group. It is difficult though, because I am unsure of my motives. Am I doing these things because I want to, or because it is what is expected of me? I just don't know. Well, maybe I do know.

It is much easier to hide myself by "caring" for others. If I know what their problems are I can focus on them, and bury mine. I don't want to do that.

Met with the weekend Doctor. He hadn't even bothered to read the notes Dr. Abraham wrote down yesterday. Great. He did say that he is going to double my Lithium meds starting tomorrow. Whatever. I just hope they don't let me out. I am not ready.