I'm trying.

I'm feeling crappy again, but am putting on a face. It is what they want me to do. Peggy asked me to hang out in the common room instead of going to my room. I'm trying.

It is just as easy to pretend that I am okay. Maybe that's what I need to do: pretend.

Let us think of the ways we could terminate JC in here:

1) electrocution. there are electrical sockets everywhere. wrap a wet towel around my arm. How do I get into the socket, though? I suppose if the towel is wet enough I can get the water dripping in there. It is doable but not guaranteed.

2) Hanging. I have my sheets or the shower curtain. I can tear strips and wrap them about my neck. Nothing high enough to "hang" from so I would have to depend on asphixiation. Again, it is doable, but no guarantees.

This is rather pointless. The only reason I would use a high caliber revolver is that even if I twitch at the last moment, I would still likely cause sufficient damage that I would not survive. That's the whole point of this.

I guess I'll meet with the shrink again tomorrow, and we'll just start this all over again.