This is not what I expected.

I am doped up. I feel very lethargic. Physically without energy. My eyelids are heavy. I want to lay down and sleep. I'll do that in a little bit.

I think I am not well. This is not what I expected. I have made tentative connections with a few people: Tom, Cat, Robin, Chandra. They are all leaving today. They are all leaving today. It is not a sadness, but I have no interest in any others.

There are times when I feel like letting down the walls and sucking up everything these people are suffering. It would be so easy, and it would bring me down so hard.

I am enjoying my writing. Too bad nobody will get to read this. I guess I can let Heidi read it. I wonder if she will understand? I hope it doesn't make her sad. I hope Kathy and Linda are being there for her.

I have tried reading the bible, but I am not able to get into it. I did finish reading "John". I've started reading the book of "Matthew". I'm not looking for answers. I'm just reading and hoping for the best.