Where to begin?
I am again feeling euphoric. I guess I'd better talk to the shrink about this. It's like I've let myself out because I know how safe it is in here, nor will I ever see any of these people again.
The mere thought of leaving this place makes me cold. But, I know I must soon get out, whether I want to or not. I don't want to.
Heidi and I talked for a while today when she visited. It felt good. She has so many questions for which I have few answers. Where to begin?? One of the things she brought for me to read is about "How to Confess Your Sex Addiction". I will not write down their questions/suggestions but will answer them to the best of my ability.
1) It was never my intention to hurt Heidi. I guess I was really trying to hurt myseflf. I am making this confession for two reasons. First, I am hoping for forgiveness from my wife. Secondly, I am opening myself completely to God, and praying for His forgiveness.
2) I promise to tell the whole truth from here on out, regardless of how painful or how embarrassing it may be. This will be extremely difficult and will require a great deal of effort. I am willing to try.
3) I don't know about this one, 'cause I don't think I was ever abused as a child. Or as an adult. I have had some sexual unions that weren't exactly great, but nothing I would consider abuse. Hmmm.
4) Another one I can't really respond to. I'll just move on.
5) I will do my best to answer Heidi's questions the best that I can. This will be the most difficult, and extremely uncomfortable. If she can be patient with me I will do my best to answer her questions. Honestly.
Alright the meds are making me sleepy, and there are too many other items to list tonight. Tomorrow I wil go through some others.
Ah! I just realized something! The reason I have been so euphoric is because the proverbial cat is out of the bag!!! Heidi knows about my addiction. I no longer have to hide it!! Oh sure, I now have to deal with the fall-out, but the demon has been unmasked!! Also, by being "euphoric" or "manic", or whatever you want to call it, I don't have to think about the problem!! I can hide behind a mask, because I can!!
Heidi said she cancelled the satellite, which is totally cool, but we have to make arrangements to get CSI & West Wing taped. CSI starts on 9/23. I'm sure West Wing is right around that time.
We also discussed a tentative course of action, but it has a lot of holes in it and needs help. I will stay here as long as possible. I meet with Dr Catton on 9/20 - from there we will figure out what to do with JC. Most importantly, I get to go to the gaming weekend with Andrew and the guys.
The mere thought of leaving this place makes me cold. But, I know I must soon get out, whether I want to or not. I don't want to.
Heidi and I talked for a while today when she visited. It felt good. She has so many questions for which I have few answers. Where to begin?? One of the things she brought for me to read is about "How to Confess Your Sex Addiction". I will not write down their questions/suggestions but will answer them to the best of my ability.
1) It was never my intention to hurt Heidi. I guess I was really trying to hurt myseflf. I am making this confession for two reasons. First, I am hoping for forgiveness from my wife. Secondly, I am opening myself completely to God, and praying for His forgiveness.
2) I promise to tell the whole truth from here on out, regardless of how painful or how embarrassing it may be. This will be extremely difficult and will require a great deal of effort. I am willing to try.
3) I don't know about this one, 'cause I don't think I was ever abused as a child. Or as an adult. I have had some sexual unions that weren't exactly great, but nothing I would consider abuse. Hmmm.
4) Another one I can't really respond to. I'll just move on.
5) I will do my best to answer Heidi's questions the best that I can. This will be the most difficult, and extremely uncomfortable. If she can be patient with me I will do my best to answer her questions. Honestly.
Alright the meds are making me sleepy, and there are too many other items to list tonight. Tomorrow I wil go through some others.
Ah! I just realized something! The reason I have been so euphoric is because the proverbial cat is out of the bag!!! Heidi knows about my addiction. I no longer have to hide it!! Oh sure, I now have to deal with the fall-out, but the demon has been unmasked!! Also, by being "euphoric" or "manic", or whatever you want to call it, I don't have to think about the problem!! I can hide behind a mask, because I can!!
Heidi said she cancelled the satellite, which is totally cool, but we have to make arrangements to get CSI & West Wing taped. CSI starts on 9/23. I'm sure West Wing is right around that time.
We also discussed a tentative course of action, but it has a lot of holes in it and needs help. I will stay here as long as possible. I meet with Dr Catton on 9/20 - from there we will figure out what to do with JC. Most importantly, I get to go to the gaming weekend with Andrew and the guys.
posted by Cherrycat at 2:15 AM
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