Sunday, August 29th, 2004, Pt II
Sequel –
Well, here we are, three hours later. I have spoken with her on the phone a couple of times, and it is as though nothing has happened. Amazing.
I’ve been bouncing around the house, totally freaked out about what I may or may not have said to set her off earlier. I’m in total panic mode because I don’t know what she’s going to say when she gets home. It is as though nothing has happened.
But, stay tuned, sports fans, because she hasn’t actually arrived. If we are patient enough, I am certain we will see the fecal matter come into violent contact with the motorized oscillating impeller.
Cripes. I am not angry with her, or at her. I’m just confused. I’m having a really hard time staying focused, and she’s throwing me these mixed signals. She wants me on meds, but doesn’t want me going to Horsham. She wants me to take supplements, herbal, but doesn’t want me to go to Horsham. I have my bag packed.
Why do I want to go to Horsham?? Well, it is a “safe” place. I’m not sure what that means, though. Is it that I am safe from myself?? Is it that others are safe from me?? Am I really a threat to anyone, or myself?? Sometimes, yes, I am a threat to myself. The lines get a little blurred and, well, blam!! End of line.
Right now. At this very moment. The choice is continuing like this or taking my own life. Is there no other choice?? Well, then “adios, amigos.” Is this something I want to do?? Not really, no. But, if there is other choice, yeah, I’m gone.
Okay. She has arrived. I am stopping now.
Well, here we are, three hours later. I have spoken with her on the phone a couple of times, and it is as though nothing has happened. Amazing.
I’ve been bouncing around the house, totally freaked out about what I may or may not have said to set her off earlier. I’m in total panic mode because I don’t know what she’s going to say when she gets home. It is as though nothing has happened.
But, stay tuned, sports fans, because she hasn’t actually arrived. If we are patient enough, I am certain we will see the fecal matter come into violent contact with the motorized oscillating impeller.
Cripes. I am not angry with her, or at her. I’m just confused. I’m having a really hard time staying focused, and she’s throwing me these mixed signals. She wants me on meds, but doesn’t want me going to Horsham. She wants me to take supplements, herbal, but doesn’t want me to go to Horsham. I have my bag packed.
Why do I want to go to Horsham?? Well, it is a “safe” place. I’m not sure what that means, though. Is it that I am safe from myself?? Is it that others are safe from me?? Am I really a threat to anyone, or myself?? Sometimes, yes, I am a threat to myself. The lines get a little blurred and, well, blam!! End of line.
Right now. At this very moment. The choice is continuing like this or taking my own life. Is there no other choice?? Well, then “adios, amigos.” Is this something I want to do?? Not really, no. But, if there is other choice, yeah, I’m gone.
Okay. She has arrived. I am stopping now.
posted by Cherrycat at 10:45 PM
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